The Mind and Your Sleeve
by greysnyper
Summary: In retrospect, you're barely scraping by.


Upon looking back, Tim notes that Batman rarely follows the guidelines he himself sets out--the rules and the procedures that the Dark Knight expects his associates to follow, ultimately for personal safety. Hardly the best example for young Robins, Batman's disregard to his own human limits has had a lot of negative effects on the world. Previous Robins; Tim's world; Gotham's. Hell, even the Justice League has fallen apart numerous times as if by ironic cue.

The universe says "stop" and Batman is...well, Batman.

And for Tim, dancing around in the shadow of the man, it's always been a battle of nature over nuture. He wants to survive and to preserve himself--come home to his dad--but he's also got something to prove. A lot to prove, actually. 

And if that doesn't fuck things up...(see example: Richard Grayson)

It never helps that Batman continues to survive against all odds proving that humans _can_ in fact be insane _and_ walk away from it. Nor the fact that it's certain that Bruce would do it again in a stuttered heartbeat.

Tim is _not_ going to be the next Batman, but he's also not going to be a disappointment. For anybody.

Therefore, the evening (and our story) starts off with a perplexed Robin standing outside of his Titan's Tower quarters. The sun is still warm and lazy in the sky, but the Friday night colours are only now beginning to show. Tim's been summoned into the costume not three seconds after changing from it upon arrival, and the rest of the team is gathering two floors below.

There is a slight shrug of bitterness in Robin's stance, for secretly held hopes for a quiet weekend have been dashed so suddenly. Tim had just been discovering the concept as it had died.

"Are you mourning?"

The sudden voice and Robin's inability to predict it causes the Boy Wonder to jerk around, and he finds purple eyes belonging to the only Titan who can sneak up to him.

"I have startled you," she observes, tipping her head. "I am sorry."

"Oh," Robin shrugs, making his heart still. It takes notably more effort than usual. Also, he can't hide the annoyance for which he _knows_ is ill-placed. "Don't be. It's well earned."

Raven blinks once, as if dissecting the truth from his emotions. "If you care not to answer my original question..."

As she falls into step beside him, Robin finds himself straining to recall the prompt for this conversation. He really should excuse himself. 

_I've had...well, you wouldn't believe the week I've had. Intergang's aroused activities in Gotham have had me tearing around the city every single night, and as you may know, Gotham high schools started exams on Tuesday. Spoiler's birthday was yesterday, and I totally screwed up last year's date because of a thing with Two Face, so I made sure I had something planned this time around. And it's not that I'm complaining but sometimes I feel like there should be two of me (perish the thought, since God knows that clones or twins often turn out to be evil) because good work did happen since the last weekend but if you can't already tell, I'm not really myself because I'm so damn tired. Please note that I pointedly didn't make a clone comment about Conner with the "two of me" tangent, and if I could let you know now, caffeine can only kill me at this point. Am I taking up this conversation, because I don't mean to be taking up this conversation. What's new with you?_

Robin frowns and says nothing.

"Mourning," Raven murmurs. She often speaks so quietly that Tim must strain to listen so that he understands. "I asked if you were in mourning, since you felt absolutely miserable the moment I saw you step out from your room."

Slowing to turn on her, Robin is unsure if he should feel busted--caught out for having such apparent emotions. 

"Timothy," Raven starts, stopping with him. Her eyes are intense. "If there is anything that has happened that you do need to share."

Robin blinks and opens his mouth, losing all grasp on what _could_ pass for a decent answer. 

Something, an answer or a realization, flickers in the amethyst gaze. "The truth, please. And as to the point as you can make it."

Damn, she's good.

Tim falls back against the wall and denies to acknowledge the slight warmth in his face. Twice she's caught him in his blind spots.

"I'm tired," he confesses. "Not mourning. Just...exhausted, really."

The elder Titan nods, obviously relieved that no graves had been dug or unearthed beyond her knowing. "That would explain why your mind isn't with us."

"Have you seen it?" asks Robin, wryly. "Look, it's just...probably nothing."

"Probably," Raven muses. "What were you thinking of, then, which makes you uncertain of absolutes?"

Robin takes a breath and tries to put the thoughts into words. As always, from extended conversation with Raven, Robin starts to wonder why he hides so much. In ten minutes, he'll probably wish to clone himself just so he can deliver a well placed punch.

"Debating my duty," he says. "To myself, to the team. I haven't slept, but I'm needed. The team could require me and if I'm not there..."

"And if you endanger yourself?" she asks, skilled in this game.

"Worse, others," finishes Robin. "I could slip up and that could cost lives."

"Well," hums Raven, shifting her weight subtly. Tim notes that they haven't yet resumed their journey to the stairwell or the elevator. "What would your mentor do?"

Damn, times elevety-billion.

"He'd tell me to sit my ass down, but if it were him in my boots, he'd be telling you where you could go."

"And thus, what the problem is."

Robin nods. "In Young Justice, or even months ago, this would never be a problem. I guess I have a reputation to keep."

"One made for you?"

Shrugging, Robin offers, "I helped. Especially in Young Justice and during first impressions. I can't afford to show weaknesses. With people like Cassie, or Bart or Conner...and _you're_ reading me like a book."

"Your defenses are low," Raven points out, a small smile offered reassuringly. "Are you scared that if you mess up on the field tonight, you'll destroy something you've built between yourself and your friends? Will staying back because you're not physically or mentally prepared for a battle demean your reputation?"

Tim...has no answers to that.

"Don't be so stricken," Raven sighs. Her fingers are cold as they take Tim's arm. "I've gotten the same from Batman, the few times I've encountered him. And from Richard, too. You're mortals playing in an uneven playing field. You try to overcompensate."

Tim knows he is _not_ going to be like...oh, what the hell does it matter now?!

"So, what do I do? We've been called down."

As if time had suddenly changed speeds, Robin feels conceded to relenting. Whatever course he's pushed to, and maybe Raven's siphoning from his endless emotional store. He doesn't know how to ask without being rude, and maybe it's just him--tired. Heady.

"You will go back to your quarters," dictates the empath. "Do not worry about the summons. The Outsiders had fed us a tip earlier in the day for a potential robbery and they have deemed that the Titans are easily suited. Cyborg only wishes to debrief everyone, and you know that Nightwing will not give us a challenge that he doesn't think we cannot overcome. As for what the others will think of your absence, I will tell them that you have chosen to remain at the Tower to follow some electronic leads. Behind the scenes detective work. And upon return, you will be rested enough to make up a story about how you had little luck. I think a failure of that sort will relieve your partners. They are often scared of how efficient you are."

Words nearly don't form for Robin. "I...you'd lie? You'd cover for me?"

"You lie to Batman," Raven shrugs.

"I...you know about that?"

She smiles at that; genuine. "Word gets around. And yes, you really do intimidate your friends."

"That _was_ my next question," snorts Robin. "Okay. I get the hint. You're absolutely okay with doing this, and in turn not saying anything about my supposed weaknesses to anyone?"

Raven straightens up and appears pleased with herself. "I don't go around telling you or the others which member of the team still plays with dolls, or who's visiting the wide closet in the kitchen with who, do I?"

"First one is Bart. And next, Conner and Cassie. Oh, and Gar, for the closet. By himself," Robin ticks off. "Er...sorry."

Drawing in a careful breath, Raven shakes her head. "Just don't forget, Tim, that I know about your notebook."

"My..._that_ notebook?"

"The same, so I advise you to behave."

"Oh God."

"Go to bed, Tim," Raven snickers. It's a vastly unreal sound, but Robin doesn't much feel like Robin. The new dilemma is whether or not he should laugh, or cry.

"You expect me to sleep now? The nightmares alone..."

"Bed," she pushes, lightly. "They will start the meeting soon and you know timing is everything with lies."

Robin covers half of his face with his hand and nods, backtracking. "I'd thank you, you know--"

"--but it's not in your character. I understand."

And then they've parted. Tim to his room and the bed he rarely uses on visits. Raven, to the elevator which carries her down.

As Linkin Park filters through the sound system (Bart reading too many of Cyborg's Tower plans and having at least two minutes to himself to hack into the elevator music), there is much for the empath to muse upon. The fact that Timothy had avoided any shut-eye on the flight over because of his close quarters to his mentor.

It had been a problem that Raven had sensed from the week prior, and that Robin could be unaware of as of yet. Humans often were slow to understand what they would later come to regret or repress. As logical as Timothy was, he hardly walked away free due to the traits that ran in his vigilante family.

The boy is observant and had been growing aware of the changes around him. These same things Raven often heard in the volume of screams. Blatantly obvious is the growing relationship between a girl respected and admired by Tim, and his best friend and constant accomplice. Tim is concerned over Bart's appearing maturity, as much as Raven fears the acceleration as being unnatural. The Boy Wonder also distrusts Raven, and for good reason, she believes. Perhaps not fairly, but trust is earned and Raven hopes to someday be seen by Timothy and his fellow Titans like how Kory sees her.

As the doors slide open to release Raven from the small space, she assumes that Robin is only perturbed by life's reminder that change does happen. Comfortable as he is, Tim probably senses that eventually, somehow, everything can fall apart. He worries that it will be out of his control, or worse, preventable. And he'll find himself unprepared.

Welcome to the real world. Oh Azarath, may you be ready for it, Tim.

"Where's Tim?"

Bart is a blur of colour as Raven enters the room built as a lecture hall. 

Before she can play up to her part of the bargain, Raven sees something invisible snag the Speedster by the collar.

Conner is comfortably close to Cassandra as he calls out, "it's _Robin_. If I have to keep up the secret i.d. game, you're playing too."

"It's not a fun game," Bart scowls, tugging at unseen lines on his new suit. "And Timmy is where?"

Bart moves to avoid the punishment and ends up tripping. Whether it's due to Conner or Kid Flash's own disregard, Raven will never be sure.

She tilts her head. "He's already aware of the situation and has offered to handle it from his quarters through the aid of Oracle."

"And I saved him a seat for nothing," Superboy scoffs, indicating the dozen open chairs around himself and Wonder Girl.

For a moment, Raven wonders if Bart could simultaneously fill each seat in an attempt to spite the cloned Titan. Then decides that Bart would find the feat challenging and files the idea away for possible dates for when she would be responsible for training. Raven is curious, wondering if this is how instructors or leaders think.

Had she spent too much time around Boy Wonder? If she's stealing essence without realizing it...

The appearance of the concept distracts the empath while Cyborg and Starfire step up to casually go over Nightwing's report. Already having heard the story and Victor's plans, Raven slips deeper into her concerns. The lack of answers or enough evidence to support any train of thought frustrates her, and Bart's impatience is seeping across Raven like water on a shore. Wonder Girl is attentive but Conner...isn't. Robin is already unconscious.

"Are you sure he's not going to come down and tell us to at least be careful?" Superboy groans, when the debriefing is completed. "Someone's got to spur us on with our battle cry."

As Conner's eyes drift towards the ceiling, Raven is prepared enough to deliver a slight push with her feelings. This delivers Cassandra's attention towards the empath, and a message is relayed through an eyelock.

What Raven says, she's not sure. Having spent time with Wonder Girl, though, things had been shared. Wonder Girl is respected and admired by Robin for a reason, and there's a crushing hand shoving Conner forward.

"You're in my way," drawls the girl. "And if you keep spying on Wonder Boy, I'm going to get jealous."

"It's those damn eyes," pines Conner, passing close enough to Raven for the fabric of their clothes to ruffle. "I have a thing for white slits in the dark, okay?"

"He'll hear you," Bart announces, following close behind.

Soon, it's just Raven with Kory and Victor.

"He thinks he can get more leads through Oracle?" asks the Cyborg.

Raven shakes her head, noting that someone else is in earshot.

Green eyes exchange a glance with a single human, single artificial gaze.

"Well, whatever," shrugs Cyborg. "Shall we?"

"Without Robin, we'll need someone to pry the boys apart if something gets said," Starfire smirks.

Raven nods, free now to raise her concerns about the potential misuse of her powers. For a moment, an image comes unbidden like a memory forged more through dreams than reality. Robin, sitting in a lifeless seat as the large vehicle sets down, San Francisco suddenly in view. The landing pad from the roof. The questions, now Raven's, are present. They're heavy and dangerously ready for their answers. Air rushes into the cabin and Batman says, "be ready, eighteen-hundred hours on Sunday."

As much as Raven wants so hard to remember Tim saying something, anything, beyond an uncommitted sound, there is silence.

And Raven, too, says nothing.

The moment passes and then it is forgot, though the story doesn't end.

♠


End file.
